One of the benefits of a long career is the narrative you create as you go and when you reach a point where your focus changes as to how you wish to direct your future and how it might contribute to those around you, you do have a wealth of experiences to share.I am sure there are many colleagues in health care that can relate to my experiences and to be honest , not all of them were necessarily positive.
Reflecting upon my leadership experiences both as a leader and being led, there are many things in both those spheres of experience where I would have wanted a do-over opportunity. Life however does not come with rehearsal opportunities. Fortunately it is also not a one act play.
In my early career I was often subjected to the tantrums of the instrument throwing chief surgeon or the silent secret agent type who was always out to trip you up.There were also those wise men and women who just seemed to know when you needed a shoulder to lean on or a nudge away from making a mistake. So what was the difference between the former two and the latter? Empathy and humanity.
Let us consider the essentials of leading with empathy and humanity.
1. Active listening and reflective listening:
This is very much an acquired skill and sadly particularly absent in current times ,because it seems that it has become impossible not to have your eye wander to one device or another. and thinking multi tasking is either an asset or worse yet, acceptable. For you to be an active listener, you need to be present, focused, interacting, responding and remembering what is being communicated. When people interact with you as their leader, they deserve that and not a side glance. Reflective listening is an even finer skill. I often found that in health care and it may translate to other environments, we are always focused on problem solving and we default into that mode when someone comes for advice. How about reflective listening? Listen, acknowledge, clarify and encourage individuals to find a path to a solution they actually have just not unlocked yet. No fish, teach to fish!
2. Emotional awareness:
This is a crucial skill if not a state of being for a leader. If we have worked this out for ourselves as leaders and really understand how our emotions effect those around us, it is crucial to remember that everyone around us and particularly those we lead also have emotions that need to be acknowledged and channelled. Sometimes you will be reached out to just for validation. Recognize that when it happens. Making sure someone feels heard does wonders.
3. Compassionate communication:
Believe me it takes a conscious decision to close the door, sit down, take a deep breath and speak softly and clearly and mind your tone and body language. For some this may come naturally, but for many it is an acquired skill.
4. Supportive environment:
Become the safe space where your team members come to express what they need to express and make sure they leave feeling validated, valued and most importantly that they can rely on confidentiality. Credibility is the currency of leadership.
5. Individuality:
Remember that we are all individuals with unique life experiences and frames of reference that inform how we lead and need to be led. Take time to get to know those you lead and work with and adapt how you lead by recognizing and acknowledging diversity in values, beliefs and thought processes.
6. Connections and relationships:
Looking back over time, the connections made with others and the lasting relationships one can still rely upon despite the passage of time and distance , all rest on mutual respect, trust and authenticity. Live that as a leader and your example will do all the work.
None of these attributes require brute strength or any display of power and authority. If you reflect on them, you will see soft human traits that with some conscious awareness and deliberate practice can change your perspective on leadership and ultimately the experience of those whom you lead. Working on developing these skills can be a very rewarding endeavour with a coach as partner. I regret not doing it myself much earlier in my leadership journey. Join me for a discovery call and let us see where it takes you.
Humanity and empathy as a leader. It is not weakness.Remember, you are a human leading humans.
Until next week.
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